i've masturbated at the thought of you

gripped head board

legs spread

tangled sheets

eyes closed

lip bit

hand going from my nipple

to my navel

to my thigh

and back

i've repeated this journey several times

my hands have caressed ever inch of my body

i felt bolts as if you had caressed every inch of my body

i tensed in ecstacy as if you were caressing every inch of my body

in the end finding the source of my internal fire

and so with thoughts of you

i constructively caressed my lingman

i adjusted mirrors

so i could see me pleasing me

thinking of you

i wanted to become a voyeur of my own thoughts

obsessive

i seen with new eyes every time they opened

silhouettic images of you danced

at the flicker of the candle on my nightstand

i'd summoned you

head thrown back in ecstacy

i'd called out your name as if you could hear me

i closed my eyes a tear fell as i prayed to God

that you could

i'd turned my phone on loud

in hopes that he heard the preys

of my sexual frustration

and you would call......

and so i write

i do not mean

to exploit our relationship

all i have is my pen,

my 24yr old rugged tablet

and a constant reminder

of you tatted on the inner fold

of my hand between thumb and pointer finger

and so i write.......................

Today i realized that if i can't have you to myself
i'd rather be in your presence as an observer

choosing to stay stagnate

and watch as you continue to live

and i merely exist and slowly dwindle away.............

We made LOVE

We made love to the rhythm of Baracks victory, and dedicated it to our grandmothers and grandfathers who learned to love through depressions. Sweating out slave trades, blood soiled grounds,Mississippi trees and there strange fruits,the molestation of our culture as well as our queens, jim crow laws, needles placed placed in our hands to do destruction,flooded lands, and fallen towers we did this as a promise to our kids and our kids kids that they'd have there chance, we made love to let them know we would never turn back, never allow the depletion of our people happen again and just as God promised never to flood these lands again we promised never to hold our heads down for we have to much to keep our heads up for, made love so that our country could hear us so that she knows we will not let her forget our past but we would continue molding her future, we made love to drown out the horrid sound of bush politics. We made Loveand with each thrust and asthmatic breath we blessed our beloved country, thanked her for the blood, sweat, and tears that made us who we are, we told her to keep her forty acres and her old rugged mule,because we don't want it, we told her this time we'd willing allow the erection of the foundation of her new land to happen on our backs because we see it needs our strength. We made love. And just we emptied ourselves of life forms we called out the most highs name and thanked him, for we knew he was pleased and blessed our love. We found sweet slumber in front of a fire place in Harlemand we began to dream in color, in unison and in those dreams we continued to make LOVE!