exist

lets occupy my uptown 5th floor fire escape
drown out lenox's sound
lets converse...
lets talk life between sips of Riesling and bites of 88 star Chinese take-out

in hush tones as if we don't want to wake the neighbors
lets conjure up our kids personalities

she will be just like me and he will take after you
will give them my lips and your eyes

lets for this moment forget about student loans
lets talk about the spaceship we'll hop in to visit Saturn
lets count stars and give them names of our favorite artist

we'll make donny and nina part of our constellation

lets us talk Oprah politics and Obama religions

lets just for tonight forget about history

and re write it so that you and i are the norm

so we are not looked at crazy for being in love

let us if only for this moment just exist

lets just be...

Inspired

this womens words have given light in my darkest hours, they've aloud me to see life through new eyes

Really Random

1. Is it cool for me to want to spend my spare time pondering your being, hoping for a glimpse of what makes you tic
2. Life through your lens has captured my attention
3. i had the greatest orgasm last night, i came spiritually
4. i felt the need to share this with the world of facebook and it cause a damn up roar
5. How does one find taboo what they are so familiar with
6. Lyrics words haunt me at the most intense moments of the day
7. i've found myself avoiding them for they make the distance between us so much greater
8. so i've moved my bed so i can sleep facing west in hopes that shes sleeping facing east, so we can meet at the purple moons that orbit our dreams
9. HE: i've gotten to the point where his words no longer stir me, but the will always invoke thought
10. his genius exist regardless of me
11. Excuse the intense tango my thoughts and words are dancing on this page, my feelings have no focal point at this moment
12. I've become comfortable in my own skin, its the most liberating feeling
13. My shower baptizes me daily, it allows me to become a new man, to face the chaotics of the city with new untainted eyes
14. Speaking of taint, i look forward to experiencing untainted love, to feel needed, to need and do so with out shame
15. i've had this unexplained intense feeling for a long time, its blurred my vision, at times skewed my perception, caused my mind to wonder, day dream, stare off into distances

yours exposed,
jahmar

Randomness

1. couldn't sleep much last night damn dreams were to vivid, so i turned to our past aim conversations to keep me company

2. masturbation no longer amuses me, i now do it out of routine (i just don't cum like i used to)

3. i'm falling in love with your awkwardness and finding beauty in your flaws, crazy but they compliment mines

4. i've cried twice in the last two weeks, sigh

5. tom ford nuff said (genius) i've developed a crush on this old white man

6. i miss our old aim conversations, they now feel empty and forced. somewhere between the first capitalized letter and the last period something went missing. i just don't have the strength to find out what it was.

7. today i promise to get a good read in my new book of choice "gentleman jigger"

8. i wish those shoes would have hit bush dead in his face, or that i was the lucky man to throw them lol

9. jazmine sullivans rendition of "round midnight" has been doing something to as of lately

10. i have a crush of one of my fellow blogger's words, they force me to think and to think uninhibitedly, is it possible to have a crush on ones pen?

11. for the record i've never considered myself a writer or a poet...

12. my sexuality has been questioned often times in the past, i feel that i should not be little my existence to something as small as human sexuality, so from now on i will just state that i'm merely attracted to people...

13. ny seems to be the piece of me that i've always felt was missing, this city makes me happy beyond measure at the times when i feel like i cant smile

14. i asked you how many others had occupied the space in your bed that i was finding comfort in, you told me not to worry, you had washed the sheets after they left and their stories had been erased, -well how many stories have you erased? as i figured you lost count, referencing the teachings of your mother who taught you to love through intermingled sheets, and to erase well wash those whose stories didn't end well.

15. i can't fault you because your a writer and like some many others i fell in love with words that carried some many meanings, my translated meaning not being one of those that mattered

16. why am i tip toeing around the notion of love as if i'm preparing to have an affair...

Lyric

i read her words before the ink got a chance to dry

glided sweaty fingers over them running the risk of smearing,

but it was well worth it for a chance to get to feel her

i'd found myself tracing lyrics written journey on many occasions

although i could never account for the last few years,

i knew she was a major part in mine

Lyric had a way of inspiring the uninspired with her words and syntactical execution

although she didn't know it lyric had me at hello way back in 2000 sophomore year,

next to the telephone booth in the main hallway,

the same booth and hallway that housed so many of my peers stories

back then Lyric was into he not i

but i still watched her in amazement

she began to bloom and as time moved on so did our friendship and my love for her pen
now days i catch myself at 3am sipping hot tea staring at a screen spued with her words hoping

i catch a glimpse of me intertwined in them...

i've masturbated at the thought of you

gripped head board

legs spread

tangled sheets

eyes closed

lip bit

hand going from my nipple

to my navel

to my thigh

and back

i've repeated this journey several times

my hands have caressed ever inch of my body

i felt bolts as if you had caressed every inch of my body

i tensed in ecstacy as if you were caressing every inch of my body

in the end finding the source of my internal fire

and so with thoughts of you

i constructively caressed my lingman

i adjusted mirrors

so i could see me pleasing me

thinking of you

i wanted to become a voyeur of my own thoughts

obsessive

i seen with new eyes every time they opened

silhouettic images of you danced

at the flicker of the candle on my nightstand

i'd summoned you

head thrown back in ecstacy

i'd called out your name as if you could hear me

i closed my eyes a tear fell as i prayed to God

that you could

i'd turned my phone on loud

in hopes that he heard the preys

of my sexual frustration

and you would call......

and so i write

i do not mean

to exploit our relationship

all i have is my pen,

my 24yr old rugged tablet

and a constant reminder

of you tatted on the inner fold

of my hand between thumb and pointer finger

and so i write.......................